It seems a little weird that people want predictability in their relationships so bad, that they get frustrated at the first sign of the hot and cold tactic. Of course, not all of us like to play games. Some of us are of a more serious disposition — we know it when we like someone, we are upfront about it, and we stay committed. So, how does one deal with a partner who is playing hot and cold and causing mayhem in their otherwise calm and romantic minds? Well, the key is to remember that everyone wants stability — but each individual works towards it according to their circumstances and nature. Some people like to be straightforward, and others like to be in control!
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And as soon as you do, he starts to pull away. You become like a dog with a bone, unwilling to relinquish what you want. You frantically search for the man inside him who was "hot" for you. He must still feel that way, he just doesn't know it. So, your problem becomes how to get him to pursue you as he did before. The trap is believing there is something you must fix, or that you did something wrong, to make him suddenly turn cold.
Up until I had my epiphany seven years ago, about unavailable relationships and in particular my own unavailability, I was convinced that I had a special skill that made available men unavailable. Blowing hot and cold is never a good sign and it is in fact a code red alert because you can never trust in this person enough to know what to expect from them. With all of this jiggering around with the hot and cold, you may think you still have something going on the hallmarks but your relationship will not have the landmarks. This is unhealthy and demeaning. The person who blows hot and cold thrives on control and equates feeling out of control with desire.
A woman acting hot and cold means that she shows interest one minute and then appears to lose interest the next. One of the most important principles of success with women is to not worry about their changing behavior and just remain confident in your attractiveness and value to them the whole time. What he meant by that is this: Love her and let her be a woman. Just relax, be a man and love her. Just believe in yourself and your attractiveness to her and love her for who she is, even if she goes hot and cold at times.