By Barbara Baker. Updated: BST, 14 August Counsellor Barbara Baker identifies the key types of controlling behaviour and sets out the most effective strategies for dealing with them. It is a term used almost flippantly, as if it is a character trait that needs to be tolerated but is essentially harmless.
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Whether you can't stand the thought of your child making a mistake on their homework, or you fear your child won't make good decisions when you're not looking over their shoulder, it can be hard to give your child freedom if you're a bit of a control freak. Parents who insist on having a high degree of control over their children often get them involved in many structured activities. From violin lessons to soccer practice, they believe their kids are gaining a competitive edge. But a study published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies found that enrolling kids in extracurricular activities did not make them happier, healthier, or more successful. Remind yourself that your child may have a different way to solve a problem, and it may not necessarily be wrong. Almost every problem has multiple solutions. Nervous parents have nervous kids.
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The first signs are usually barely recognizable, primarily because most control freaks stay low-key for as long as they can. In one of my past relationships , the guy got fed up with me not listening when it came to what I ate, and literally swatted popcorn out of my hand. Needless to say, that relationship is now over due to control issues. You going to the movies, only to hear him whine about what a waste of money it was.
I was raised by a controlling mother who was extremely overbearing, and this has affected me throughout my life, especially my relationships and life choices that have gotten me to where I am today. But I have realized that my life is my own and no one elses. My childhood and adolescent experiences are examples of how controlling behavior can manifest.